The Ming Report by Keith Hays

12 Steps

May 3, 2006 - My name is Keith Hays and I’m an oil addict. It all started when I was 15. I met Emily in the hallway at school. It was spring and I was getting my driver’s license that summer. I needed a car so that I did not have to have my parents driving us around on dates. Gas was cheap. A gallon of gas and the price of a pack of cigarettes were both 17 cents. I could fill up the tank on the 48 Plymouth coupe I bought for just $2. We still had bus service and you could ride all day for a nickel. It wasn’t the same though. You couldn’t take your girl out for a coke and a movie on the bus. It just wasn’t done. And my rival for her affections had a car of his own. So it was as a teenager I became addicted to oil and I spent most of my free time trying to raise the money for another tank full of gas.

It is 53 years later and I spend a lot of my time trying to pay for that next tank of gas. I drive a light truck that gets 22 miles to the gallon. I had to fill up the tank yesterday. I swiped my card and added another $49.95 to the month’s end bill. The Republicans in Congress were going to send me $100.00 to make up for the amount I have to pay to get to and from work. That hundred bucks would have bought me ten days worth of getting there and back I wasn’t impressed much with that idea. Seems that the Republicans at least got that much of the message. They have junked that idea.

How are they going to deal with the increased cost of fuel and its ripple effect on the economy? Well President Bush is back to drilling in ANWR. That is his Johnny One Note answer for an energy policy. I notice that he hasn’t proposed drilling for offshore oil in Jeb’s backyard. Tax the oil companies’ record windfall profits? Make it unprofitable to gouge the American consumer? Of course not. Government action is only the answer when it is handing out subsidies to business. Government action is never the answer when it would only benefit the ordinary American. The President says he expects the oil companies to invest their windfall profits in a socially responsible manner (hereinafter referred to as George’s Great Expectations).

His Energy Secretary – I have lost track of who that is – says that we can expect the high gas prices for years to come. He calls it a crisis. If you face a crisis you generally come up with a plan of action to promptly address it in the short term while you seek a solution for the long haul. The Secretary simply says the cause of the high price at the pump is America’s addiction to oil but he doesn’t offer us a 12 step program to break our addiction.

This brings us back to where we started. I am addicted to oil. I’m willing to follow the twelve steps to get us off of oil. I’ll be glad to start in the morning. What is step one?


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