The Ming Report

The First Week of February

February 8, 2004 - If you watched the Super Bowl strip and your erection lasted 4 hours you need to see a doctor. At least that was the clear message of the Super Bowl ad introducing that new medication to cure minute-men. Apparently Michael Powell’s reaction to JT’s choreographed sexual assault on JJ did not measure up and he now rises in high dudgeon to defend America’s children from being exposed to sun-burst nipple shields. Frankly, I and most of America half-watched the half-time show and didn’t see the stunt at all. Like most of America it wasn’t until I checked the Drudge Report and saw the slow-motion reruns on CNN and FOX that I was aware of the enormity of the terror that Mr. Timberlake and Ms. Jackson had instilled in the Conservative breast. That, Ladies and Gentlemen, is as shocking as, say, a Clydesdale’s digestive dysfunction. The bra-ha-ha has lasted a week now. Janet is still getting international press exposure that no money can buy and I respectfully suggest that if your reaction lasted up to 4 hours, you really need to see a doctor.

The press has all but awarded the 2004 Democratic nomination to John Kerry and the slash and burn Bush assault team is springing into action with its campaign to Clelandize the Silver Star winner. With one week of February gone the Junior Senator from Massachusetts has a 70 delegate lead on Howard Dean, the Bush team’s January target of the month, and is 10 percent of the way to the number he needs for the nomination. With one week gone in February the conservatives have attacked him for being a “babykiller”; for having the disloyalty to be revolted by killing babies; for having a rich wife; and for living in Massachusetts.

The President has named a commission to explain to him how it was that he was so fooled by Saddam Hussein that he actually believed that the Iraqi dictator had a vast arsenal of weapons of mass destruction and launched a war to get rid of them. Anxious for the answer he told the commission to hurry its work and be ready to report by March 15, 2005 – 13 months away and just before the anniversary of the decapitation attack on Baghdad. We will then know the definitive answer to the burning question of the Iraqi war – “Just whose intelligence was faulty?” – five months after the American people have answered that question for themselves on November 2.

And, as Walter Cronkite used to say, “And that’s the Way it Was – February 8, 2004.”