The Ming Report

TOPPING THE TURKEY

December 24, 2003 - Well here it is almost Christmas. My Lord, how the time does fly. It seems like just yesterday that the President was carrying that fibreglass turkey around showing them soldier-boys how good the prop department at the Whitehouse made it look. It did look real in the pictures didn’t it? You really have to hand it to Carl Rove’s boys and girls. They have a hard job on their hands and they really have to work hard to make George look real. And what thanks do they get?

First them damn Swedens don’t want to recognize how hard he worked to bring peace to Afghanistan and Iraq. They gave their prize to some Iranian woman as if any woman counted for something in Iran and it isn’t like Iran was real peaceful now – not like the good old US of A. After all, like Carl says, it was George’s war that got that Libyan dictator to give up his WMD programs just so he could get Halliburton back to fix his oil wells. Then Time Magazine doesn’t even have the good sense to recognize a real hero when they got one right there in front of them.

You know Time started this Man-Of-The-Year thing 65 years ago when it put Adolph Hitler on its picture-cover for 1938. This year it isn’t even a man. They made it Person-Of-The-Year and put up a picture of some nameless dog-face. How could they do that? Henry Luce must be rolling over in his grave. He was a Yale man and a Republican, you know. You would have thought that his magazine would recognize a real Yale man like the President. I’ll bet that the soldier they put on the cover never even went to a junior college.

So now it is Christmas and Carl’s boys and girls have to work real hard to come up with something to top the turkey and Tommy Ridge isn’t helping with that Orange Alert thing. His timing isn’t helping. We were counting on the American people to spend up the economy and now Walmart is saying that its sales are at the bottom of the curve. Now Ridge is telling them to be very afraid, that things are the worst since 911 while the message is that we are winning the war on terrorism. Can’t Tommy get with the program? After all, election year is just around the corner.

So you can see just how hard a job that Carl and his people have. Coming up with a stunt to keep the President’s picture on TV for the Christmas Holiday is going to be real tough. It isn’t as though they could have him play Santa at a homeless shelter. That would just point out that the trickle hasn’t gotten that far down. There must be something he can do. Leave it to Carl; he will come up with something.